Denver Colorado, USA
Jimmy Parsons, local 12-year old and school attendee, announced today that he would begin his two year plan to “escape from the tyranny of the Mom Empire” and “finally legalize human/anime marriage”. Parsons’ plan details a gathering of all of the resources of his nation, Jimmy’s Tree House, and a mass migration to the island of Dave from Down the Street’s House. When asked why he was seceding from the nation of Mom and Dad are Paying Bills for You to Live You Ungrateful Shit, Parsons had only this to say- “The tyranny of the Mom Empire and her conflict with the Dad Anarchy are too much for the people of my nation and myself. Thus we have decided to remove ourselves from the situation and form a coalition with the Dave Isles”.
The next step in Parsons’ groundbreaking plan details a five year campaign in which he will lobby for the Dave Isles to be recognized as an official nation, at which point the United Nations will pull some “wicked-cool stunts and have this badass laser show telling everyone why it should be legal to marry an anime, but NOT GAY ANIME, and also Solid Snake will be there with Sonic the Hedgehog and it will own hard”. Parsons has been quoted as saying that he plans, upon the legalization of such marriage, to marry his favorite anime character of all time, Naruto. When asked why he was allowed to marry an anime of the same sex, but others were not, Parsons gave ‘the finger’ to the reporter and stormed off to his room, more than likely to prepare for Dinner War II.
We will have more on this story as it develops.